Just a little disclaimer
I’ve been through hell and back, I’ve been through all 4 of these things. I know I wish someone was straight like this with me. Of course, I could write a whole book on this, but that’s not really gonna help anyone. It will just waste all the time you have.
All the answers lie within’ yourself. Is someone holding you back? Let them go. Is something holding you back? Let that go. It is that simple.
I know for a fact and from experience that if you truly want to heal and live your best life there are 3 things you need to do.
Feel your feelings.
Make a change, ask yourself what you want to do, because you know what it is. And do it. Stop holding yourself back or letting 'society's expectations' hold you back.
Stay consistent, even when you feel like you're going nowhere at the start, if you are doing what you truly want to do, what your soul and heart desires, stay consistent, because only that is going to keep you happy.
And last but not least, enjoy every bit of the process. Because, life is beautiful and you get one chance to live it to the fullest. <3
This is the only shortcut to healing there really is. Cut the self-pity.
With all my heart I send you love and prosperity on your journey.
How to get out of a Depression.
What I actually wanna say to you immediately is throw this blog away and just do what the fuck you want to do. But I know a lot of people want the context of ‘how’ and ‘why’, because it’s not that easy. So here we go…
How and why
Put your phone away, don’t talk with your friends for a week, don’t ask people’s opinions. Sit with yourself. Don’t just sit with yourself, cause I know a lot of Y’all already did that. Staring at the ceiling… Laying in your bed… Wondering ’Why is my life so hard?’ or ‘Why did I have to go through all this shit?’
You’re asking yourself the wrong fucking questions. Ask yourself: ‘Why do I let this bother me so much?’ and ‘What can I learn from the things I’ve been through?’ and ‘What do I want to do now?’
Nobody can tell you anything that’ll make your depression go away. It is your life, so what will help another person, can not work for you. Of course you can listen to what helps others, but it’s not absolute that that will help you. Because you are the main character in your life. There are things you want to do, deep inside you’ve always known what you wanted to do. For me that’s writing, for you, nobody knows, except you. I can tell you to write a book, but if you hate writing it will only make you more depressed. So fucking listen to what makes your heart smile. Even if it is something people will make fun of, if it makes you smile, what’s holding you back?
No pill can heal your depression. A lot of people will hate me for saying this, but it’s the truth. Healing is not something you can find in a pill. Pills numb your feelings, do you really want to numb your feelings? Do you really want to stop feeling, when you are given a life, maybe the only life you can feel in?
Your feelings, good and bad, are your body speaking to you. When you feel bad about something, you should trust that feeling, not numb that feeling.
When something makes you feel good, then fucking go for it. Your body is not giving you this good feeling for nothing.
Of course, you can take those pills if you want to. If it makes you feel worse in the long run, don’t come running to me… It’s a choice you make.
‘You decide if you want to go into the unknown and maybe find your happiness or stay in the place you are right now, depressed, knowing what to expect.’
Yes, it’s that easy. I’m not here to feed your self-pity, a lot of people did that to me when I was depressed, but it did nothing for me. It did not help me when people wanted to do groceries for me or help me with anything I couldn’t do. It’s easy when people do that for you and you can just lay back in your self-pity, but it will not help you in the long-run. And I am here to help you in the long-run, even if you don’t like what I have to say.
How to get out of Anxiety.
What I want to say once again, is throw this blog away and get your fucking ass outside. But hey, we all want a little explanation, so here we go…
I know this is not easy.
Anxiety is a real thing, especially when you’re being or feeling threatened by your life. If you feel like this I can only ask you one thing once again: ‘What will make you feel more safe?’ And take action.
Is it changing your name, moving, getting a security camera? Name it, get it and do it. Make sure you make yourself feel safe first. After that, it’s the same as the depression, getting outside again. If you had to move to feel safe, now that you’ve moved you tell yourself every day: ‘’I am safe.’’ Until you believe it, because you are. They don’t know where you moved, maybe they don’t even know your name anymore. For every problem there is a solution.
Is your fear unrealistic? Or from an old trauma?
Heal your trauma. You don’t necessarily need therapy for this (a therapist might have some information or insights you don't have, yet. You don't 'need' it, tho). Literally just ask yourself or your ‘inner child’ what you need. You know what you need, you just need to listen. Give yourself what you need, you don’t need other people for this.
I know a lot of y’all must have thought: ‘Oh I just wish someone did this or this for me, because of what I’ve been through.’ Don’t just think about it! Speak UP. Tell them what you need and if they can’t give it to you, find it in yourself.
‘You are NOT dependent on OTHERS for YOUR OWN healing!!!’
What I mean with ‘unrealistic’ is that sometimes you feel things you used to feel in a certain situation, even when you’re out of it. Like me.
I used to be scared to be myself around people, because my parents would hit me every time when I would be myself or speak out my thoughts. Now, the people around me appreciate me for that, and when they don’t I can just simply leave. I can now be 100% myself every day of my life without being abused, simply because I am over 18 and my ‘blood parents’ have nothing to say about me anymore. Hell, I kicked ‘em out my life so they are not even part of my life anymore.
And I’ve never felt happier.
How to stop your addiction.
You really want to quit?
Then just fucking do it. If you really want something you’ll make your way to it.
I don’t need to hear your fucking ‘but’. There is no but, but self-pity. If you can’t do it, because of ‘this’ or ‘that’, then fix ‘this’ or ‘that’. A friend who is addicted? Dump em’. 'But they will be all alone…’ BUT YOU WILL RUIN YOUR FUCKING BODY FOR THEM! Choose your fucking self or do what you did and stop feeling sorry for yourself. I don’t care if you have a friend you don’t want to leave behind ‘all alone’ or if it’s a family member. If they bring you down or you stay addicted to whatever it is you’re addicted to, because you can’t leave them, then what’s the fucking worth of that ‘friendship’ or ‘blood tie’. If you think someone else is more important than yourself, what the fuck are you even doing there? Looking for someone to cuddle you and tell you it’s okay? HELL NO. You’re doing this shit to yourself. I know I needed to hear this when I was addicted, so that’s why I’m this harsh.
If you want someone to feed your self-pity, get yourself another book that won’t help you. If you really want to quit, then fucking quit and make it work.
See your obstacles as things to conquer! Not as a reason to keep yourself down.
You have all the power you NEED inside you to do ANYTHING you want!
What to do when I get the urge again?
Dude… You really gonna ask me this? You can find this ANYWHERE. Chew gum, drink water, go for a walk, do a work-out. Just do whatever the fuck works for you. BETTER ASK YOURSELF, look inside. You know what’s best for you. And fucking listen. Stop neglecting yourself and listen! <3
If you need to cry, cry. If you need to scream, scream. If you need a hug, go to a friend or buy a fucking teddy bear. There is a solution to EVERYTHING.
How to get out of an Eating Disorder.
… Just eat - internally laughing -.
I know I hated when people said this to me, but healing from an eating disorder, this is literally the only thing that helped me.
When I truly wanted to heal from an eating disorder. Read that again.
I lied a lot to myself at first when I ‘tried to heal’ from an ED. So make sure you really want to heal from this, because then ‘just eat’ is gonna make so much more sense. When you don’t really want to heal from this, that is gonna be the hardest thing. I’m not saying it will be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. Nah-ahhh.
First you won’t even know when you’re truly hungry or not. You gotta learn how to listen to your body. You gotta know how to address that voice saying: ‘No, you’ve eaten enough’, while your body is screaming. Feeling tired, lightheaded, irritated? Eat. It’s not only your stomach saying ‘’Grrrrrrr’’ Or feeling that tingly feeling in your belly, that means hunger. When you don’t have energy, you also need to eat or sleep.
How is a body gonna work without fuel in it?
Can I work out while doing this?
Hell yes. If you have the energy for it. Make sure you’re not doing it ‘to compensate’ though. Then you’re gonna get off track really fast.
Do it because you have energy. Do it because you want to get stronger. Do it for whatever reason, just never ever do it to compensate. Do it, because it makes you happy. And when it doesn’t make you happy, do something else that makes you happy. The most important thing here is to focus on what make YOU happy and not on what makes ‘society’ happy.
Feeling ‘fat’
Just saying, this is an illusion, darling. You’re just not used to feeling full. That feeling means you have food in your body, and that food is like petrol for your body to be able to move and do the things it needs to. Like smiling. (:
A car needs fuel to drive, why do you think your body doesn’t need food to move?
Last thing I have to say about this, if you want to eat chocolate, chips, cookies, eat it! Don't restrict yourself, but add vegetables and fruits, because that will make your body happy. The 'unhealthy' foods, make your soul happy (in my opinion, that's also healthy). And that is so important! You were put on this earth to live for yourself, not for anyone else. So if you really want to be 'healthier' or if you need to lose weight to be healthy.
Don't restrict, add.
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